Strawberry Cheesecake Flavored O’My Lube

The only time I’ve used flavored lube before was in small sample-packs that came with safer sex kits handed out by the Queer Resource Center three or so years ago, and then I didn’t really end up using them so much as tasting them and accidentally spilling them on top of my dresser. This was before I was really into using lube, and mostly I took them to get the other stuff in the package.

In my latest lube testing I was expecting it to have some sort of taste, and I was a little disappointed, so since I’ve heard good things about O’My I decided I wanted to try O’My Flavored Lubricant in Strawberry Cheesecake, ’cause it sounded extra yummy.

The first thing I did once I got it was take some and rub it between my fingers for a few minutes, testing out the general feel of it, how well it lasted, and if it got sticky. I was pleasantly surprised as my (somewhat limited) experience with water-based lubes is that they tend to get sticky, and I figured a flavored one might just tend to get even more sticky, but it actually held up pretty well, not really getting sticky at all.

The next test was to taste it. Right from the bottle the lube has that strange flavored-lube aftertaste which my tongue relates to artificial sweeteners, but it’s not quite the same taste. Aside from the aftertaste, the lube does indeed have a strawberry taste to it, and close to a cheesecake hint, but mostly just strawberry, which I found to be quite enjoyable.

After actually using the lube, however, the taste changes. Mixed with juices the strange flavored-lube taste goes away simply to reveal a delicious strawberry flavor that I thought tastes pretty delicious. It was amusing to think that I then had a strawberry-flavored cunt.

Upon realizing this I had to think about the actual practical uses of flavored lube. It could be a way to entice a lover to go down on you, should they be wary of the natural taste, or great for using during penetrative sex with a condom to try to minimize the latexy condom-taste should there be some oral action after condom use. Or, as in my case, it can be just campy and fun to use every once in a while to have flavored genitals. I figure it could be great for the analinguist, as well, who doesn’t enjoy the taste of the backdoor.

What I really liked about the lube was the bottle it came in: a pump bottle. I’ve always thought these would be the best kind of bottles for lube to come in, since they’re super easy to get lube out of. A regular shampoo-type top of a lube bottle is fine, but it definitely takes longer and can be irritating in the heat of the moment.

G-Spot Dream Massager

I’m a big fan of G-Spot Vibrators, and so when I saw the G-Spot Dream Massager I was definitely intrigued. It looked sleek and gorgeous, while also being a very affordable price. While it’s not the most exciting name for a toy, more descriptive than fun, luckily it far surpasses the name’s expectations.

The G-Spot Dream Massager is made out of rubber cote, which is non-porous and phthalate-free, a winning combination in my book. It can be easily cleaned with soap and water, and won’t soak up bacteria like porous toys. It’s very smooth, almost silky, to the touch, somewhere between silicone and plastic and simply a delightful texture.

I found it both aesthetically and anatomically pleasing, a nice deep blue for the eye and a wonderful curve for the g-spot. If the controls were different (and it came in a black box instead of a plastic one) I would almost swear it was a LELO toy, and that’s quite a compliment coming from someone who loves LELO as much as I do. It’s gorgeous and feels sleek, smooth, and expensive, attributes I associate with LELO.

The curve of the shaft is just perfect for g-spot stimulation while the bump in the shaft adds wonderful sensation while thrusting. I also found it to be wonderful for clitoral vibration. My perfect clitoral toys have a little curve on them to ease placement while pressing against my clit. I found the G-Spot Dream Massager to fit against my mons just right so that I could easily maneuver it against my clit with just the right pressure. The width of the handle while using it on my clit deminished the vibrator claw-hand that I often get with small clitoral vibrators, while the tip was just the right size.

It takes two AA batteries in the base and tightens up to become a waterproof toy, so you can take it into the shower or bath with you, and I couldn’t resist doing just that! The base is also where the vibration control is, a simple twist-dial bottom that changes speeds from off to low to high quite easily, though it can be a little hard to get a hold of in the heat of the moment, especially with lubed-up fingers should you have them.

I couldn’t help using the G-Spot Dream Massager and Strawberry Cheesecake Lube together, since I knew I would be reviewing them together, and found they worked very well. The lube made the rubber cote material of the massager nice and slippery, not too slippery to still get a hold of, but slippery enough that it had no trouble sliding in.

Onyx and I used these two ways, first with him thrusting the toy into me while I rubbed my clit, and then we switched so that I was using the toy on my clit while he was thrusting in me with his fingers. Both ways were delightful, and it didn’t take me long at all to come once the toy was buzzing away at me.

You can find the G-Spot Dream Massager, O’My Flavored Lubricant, and other sex toys at Vibrator.Com

I’m a big fan of clitoral vibrators, especially small ones that are nice and powerful, which was part of why I was attracted to the Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet.

The other reason I was attracted to it was because of the way I like to masturbate: always on my stomach, using the same finger and only that finger to rub at my clit, and no vibrator had completely been able to replicate that experience because I always have to hold the vibe and if it’s small I sometimes end up getting that dreaded vibrator claw-hand that is no fun to experience.

I knew the little silver bullet that comes with it would be nice and strong, as I have one like it, and I thought the idea was just fabulous and reminds me of Fukuoku vibes (only cheaper in price). I have never owned a Fukuoku anything or a non-held vibe before so I thought this would be a good experience even if it wasn’t great.

But it is great! The only thing I’m a little wary of is the sleeve itself. The packaging it came in says it’s silicone, but it didn’t say 100% silicone, and it feels awful jelly-like, so that worries me a little bit. I doubt it would have bad icky phthalates in it, but it may be porous, so it may be unable to be cleaned. Though, then again, who knows, it could be 100% silicone, but I’d be surprised if it was and they neglected to say so on the package. Only the manufacturers know for sure, and they didn’t put any other information other than silicone

Aside from that minor irritation I really have enjoyed it. The vibrations are nice and strong and the nubs on the toy itself are great for rubbing with or without vibration (though I prefer it with). I really like the grip-free ability, basically I don’t have to hold it at all I just need to guide and press, which I found extremely delightful. The Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet is a very basic toy at a very basic price (under $10, did I mention that part?) that does it’s job with no fuss.

Though since I don’t know the make I probably won’t use it as much as my Nea or Mia (my two favorite clitoral vibrators), but it’s definitely a toy I’ll reach for when my hand is tired and I just need to get off quickly without the risk of my hand getting stuck in an uncomfortable position (claw-hand) for a long time, and for under $10 you can’t afford not to have one.

Find Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet and other sex toys at SexToy.Com.

From Video “Twelve – Pussy Home Invasion – Part 2″ on Good Dyke Porn

Each time I start writing this review of Good Dyke Porn I have to stop and start over, because I keep on not being able to convey just how much I’ve enjoyed this site, and how wonderful I believe this site and these videos are. Not only does every video look like real dykes having real dyke sex (interpret that as you wish) and actually genuinely enjoying themselves, they are doing it in a way that is incredibly enjoyable to watch as well.

The only negative I can say about the site at all is that I found myself getting so turned on by it that I got turned around on it, unsure of how to get back to a page I was on before without the back button or scrolling through multiple pages. Part of that was me forgetting how I got to a page after watching a video, cumming, and being generally brain-addled from that.

Even with the slightly confusing navigation videos aren’t at all difficult to find, just getting back to a specific video or page was difficult for me, and I enjoy the general layout and the way each video is laid out, with the ability to watch or save each clip from each scenario. Another nice thing about the way it’s set up is that you can choose get a general membership to the site or just buy individual clips that pique your interest, which is extremely handy because not everyone is into all the same things, so you can just pick and choose what you want to watch and what you don’t. Of course, the more clips you buy the more you would save by just buying a membership.

I’ve watched a number of different clips and different scenarios, from a familiar pizza boy scenario to a femme circle jerk to a femmed up male-bodied dyke and his lover engaging in play, and many more! Each one was strikingly different but they all were exactly what the title indicates: good (or great) dyke porn. I loved the feeling that I got from watching these, not just the turned on feeling but like I was peeking in on what these dykes normally did with each other, not that I was watching some elaborately staged visual adult entertainment that was trying to be anything other than real dykes getting it on.

I especially loved that everyone looked like they were real people, with all different breast sizes, body types, and skin tones. Like I said, every scenario is different, with a variety of tones, toys, and activities. Some have strap-ons and other toys introduced into the mix, some are just dyke-on-dyke fingers and mouth on cunt action, some have restraints and BDSM or D/s overtones, some have all three. They are all in various locations both outdoors (hot!) and indoors and each one of them is extremely fun to watch.

Some of the videos even have extra ‘behind the scenes’ clips as a seperate clip after the hot action, where you get to talk with those involved in the scene and learn a little more about them. I loved this, almost more than the actual videos (though not quite–I did say almost!) because it just emphasizes that these are real people that you’re watching having sex and having fun. Hearing the participants explain what made them want to do porn and how they were feeling post-scene was a wonderful experience that I really appreciated being able to see.

I also love that there is a male-bodied individual in one of the scenarios. I noticed a post on the forum about this as well (another great feature to have on a sex-positive very women-friendly porn site, the ability to converse with other members about the porn and just about anything). The forum post had the title “Do men belong in dyke porn?” It wasn’t someone complaining, just wanting to know what the others there thought. There were quite a few responses, including this one from Bren Ryder the creator of GDP:

“Women like different things and some may argue that there shouldn’t be a dildo or there shouldn’t be cake or there shouldn’t be young beautiful femme women with perfect bodies or there shouldn’t be a scene where a bio-guy is dressed up like a woman and then gets fucked in the ass.
I say there absolutely should be all of those things and MORE. Anything that serves our queer fantasies. ”

The majority of others on the forum agreed with her and I couldn’t agree with her more. I was extremely surprised and excited to see a femmed-up male-bodied person in dyke porn! If you’ve been reading me for a while you know that I’ve been talking a lot recently about the queer ways in which males and females can interact sexually, so I love having a video on a dyke site to point to exactly that!

I think Good Dyke Porn is an amazing site full of wonderful videos enjoyable to everyone even remotely queer (and in my world that’s just about everyone). If you haven’t, I highly recommend you go check out the site, look at the samples, sign up for the forums, and maybe even buy some clips. You know you want to.

I’ll admit, I’m somewhat of a lube novice. I used to think that lube wasn’t necessary because I’ve always tended to get very wet, and usually if lube is needed we just took Jenna Jameson’s advice and used spit to do the job. We first bought a bottle of lube primarily for anal play, some generic water-based lube that did what it should without complications, though it always leaves me stickier than I would like on my own. Since trying lube for the first time, however, I’ve become a bit of a convert.

Over the course of the relationship I’ve noticed my self-lubrication has decreased rather significantly. I used to be wet just about all the time, but now, two and a half years later, it takes more to get me lubed up the right way. I think this has to do with my body realizing that if I kept producing that much juice, coupled with a dryer hotter environment, I would be dehydrated all the time, though I’m sure some of it also has to do with being in a long-term relationship and getting used to the other partner as well.

Long story short, I’ve become a lube convert. Since I have a lot of silicone toys I have stayed away from silicone lube, since together they can cause a strange chemical reaction which will basically ruin your toys for further use. But as I said, the water-based lube we’ve tried has left us both sticky and just generally not good feeling, so I wanted to try something a little different.

So, in looking at the various lube options at SexToy.Com I was intrigued when I came upon the “Churn Style” Boy Butter, which is neither water- nor silicone-based but oil-based. I had heard about Boy Butter years ago at the sex shop in Juneau, a friend pointed it out to me, but at that time I wasn’t converted yet. I decided I should give it a try.

I was a little worried about the fact that Boy Butter does have organic silicone in it, but after quite a bit of research, including Boy Butter’s website and various other reviews of the lube saying it is safe on all sex toys, so I felt safe trying it on my silicone toys, and there was no negative reaction at all.

However, the major problem with Boy Butter for some is that it is oil-based. Oil-based lubes, while less sticky than water-based and completely toy-safe unlike silicone-based, are not latex-safe, which means unless you are using polyurethane condoms or are fluid-bonded with your partner (as Onyx and I are) you really shouldn’t use them. It basically eats away at the latex of condoms or gloves, which is definitely not safe. Though it is wonderful if you are not using latex during sex or for solo play.

Now that all the general info is out of the way, let me tell you about how Boy Butter tastes, smells, and most importantly how it feels, because that’s what you really want to know about, right? Boy Butter has virtually no taste or smell that I could detect whatsoever, but it does leave an oily feeling in your mouth should it end up there which is easily removed by drinking something. It feels damn near how it sounds: silky and smooth like butter; oily but not unpleasant, quite the contrary in fact. I found Boy Butter to be excellent especially in any sort of stroking, either stroking Onyx’s cock, or stroking my clit. Unlike other lubes, it lasts a nice long time and doesn’t get sticky, which makes it perfect for long stroking sessions.

When using it vaginally I found I needed more than I thought I would in order for it to feel right. Boy Butter creates a thin slick coating of oily lube on whatever you put it on, which wasn’t thick enough to be terribly pleasant alone, but once I got my own juices going I felt that the combination of the two was heavenly. However, it does have glycerin in it, and I think water-based lube is better vaginally in general.

Anally, too, Boy Butter was a bit of a dream. It makes me think of crisco in some respects, though not quite as thick, but similar since they are both oil-based. The best part about using Boy Butter anally is that it lasts for a nice long time, so you don’t have to keep reapplying to keep the slickness the same. It’s pretty much the perfect anal lube.

I definitely recommend Boy Butter for just about any sexual activity that doesn’t include latex. It’s odorless and tasteless and lasts for a good long time. Plus, who wouldn’t want to own some “Churn Style” Boy Butter that is “a downright pleasure to spread”? The puns alone are worth it in my book.

Name: Boy Butter

Manufacturer: Boy Butter

Type: Oil-based Lubricant

Compatibility: Works with all toy types. Not latex safe. Body safe.

Glycerin-free: No
Paraben-free: Yes

Organic: No
Vegan: Yes

Flavored: Not exactly

Smell: Hardly any.
Taste: Again, oily, and quite unpleasant
Sticky? Not at all!

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Onyx and I have only used this a few times, though I have enjoyed it when we have. We have yet to use it on him, however, which would be an interesting experience. We do very little leash play or puppy play regularly, but I’ve always enjoyed the idea of it, and so I was intrigued when I saw it in the VibeReview website and wanted to try it out. How does one review a leather leash? Something I’ve been pondering for a while, and now you see the result:

Leashes are a bit of a staple of a BDSM toybox, they’re fun, easy and versatile and are able to create a clear definition of who is Dominant and who is submissive without too much effort. In short, they’re pretty great. They are great for keeping someone close, and can easily be incorporated into any sort of puppy play, or simply collar and lead play, both of which are pretty common.

I think the best quality of The Leather Leash from VibeReview is the thick quality leather that it is made of. Sometimes leather products, even sometimes expensive ones, don’t feel very good quality, but this one does. You can be sure that it won’t break easily from any tugging or pulling done to it.

It has a clip on one end that is easily attached to just about anything with a wide enough hole for it: collars, cuffs, nipple rings, nipple clamp chains, etc. It can be wrapped around and attached to itself, as well, making for a impromptu restraints. Your imagination can go wild at the versatility of this simple item.

The leash itself is only about four feet long, which is shorter than a lot of other leashes you can purchase I’m told, which could be a plus or a minus depending on what you’re wanting to use it for. Personally, I think that shorter is better, it means that the bottom has less room to maneuver, and also it’s a bit more intimate (though all leash play is definitely intimate). It’s a good signifier of the start of a scene as well.

Overall I’ve really enjoyed playing with The Leather Leash and look forward to much more playtime with it ahead. It’s good quality that will last for quite some time, especially if the leather is taken care of as well. If you’re looking for a good solid leash, I’d highly recommend it.

Remember: the affiliate proceeds from any toys you buy through my affiliate link will be donated x2 to The Butterfly Temptress Cancer Fund! Buying sex toys never felt so good.

In addition to being made by Lelo and therefore being sleek, elegant, and gorgeous simply by design, Mia is also the first sex toy of her kind, a high-end rechargeable sex toy that is powered by your computer alone! You heard me. Mia charges via USB port and dubbed by Lelo to be “a lipstick vibrator for the iPod generation.” If the sheer geek factor of that alone doesn’t already have you desiring one, let me tell you a little more about her.

Mia, much like her big sister Nea, is small and discreet and made of PC-ABS (Polycarbonate-Acrylonitrile/butadiene/styrene blend) which is a phthalate-free thermoplastic and completely safe to use.

She looks like a slightly oversized tube of lipstick or a round slightly long thumb-drive, so having her out in public or someone else coming upon her in your handbag wouldn’t be a problem. She is just barely over four inches long and not meant for insertion, though a couple inches of her could be if desired.

The vibrations course through the entirety of her, so both ends can be used for stimulation. One end tapers into a rounded point for small accurate pressure; the other side, the lid, is sloped flat and wide for a greater surface of vibration. Both ends are fantastic for clitoral (or perineum) stimulation.

Like all Lelo vibes, Mia has multiple speeds and pulsation modes, all accessed by the + / – controls on her. Simply press the plus and on she turns, revving up to a nice strong vibration that always gets me off quickly. Once she is turned on to her highest pressing the plus again will cycle through her other modes of vibration, three pulses of varying speeds, then the minus button to get back to continuous vibration. She can also be locked by pressing the plus and minus together until the LED light comes on and stays on, handy so her charge doesn’t run out while bouncing around in a bag.

She comes with an elegant black storage box, a satin bag to carry her around in should you so desire, a manual, a 1-year warranty (comes standard with all Lelo toys), and an extension USB cord. I’ve also found she works with a wall-charger I have for my iPod, as the iPod charger uses a USB connection from the iPod to the charger, which can easily be substituted by the Mia.

Another perk of being able to charge her via USB is that, unless you are unable to access a computer (and in this day and age that is difficult to do), you will never not be able to charge her. Rechargeable toys are wonderful, but they also mean more cords to keep track of, and with Mia all you need is a computer. Any computer.

In addition to the geek factor, her elegant, sleek, and easily accessible size has turned Mia into a favorite of mine. Like her sister Nea I have gotten into the habit of taking her with me wherever I go, just in case I might need her. One of these days I’m going to charge her up on a public (library?) computer and then go into the bathroom and use her, or something equally as scandalous.

Name: Mia

Manufacturer: LELO (Luxury Erotic Lifestyle Objects)

Material: PC-ABS

Charge: Rechargeable via USB Port

Length: 4 1/4″ (total) 1 1/2″ (insertable)
Thickness: 7/8″ (diameter) 2 3/4″ (around)

Rating: 5 Lotuses (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Much like Bandito which I reviewed last week, Tantus G-Spot/Celestial Perfection (VibeReview calls it Celestial Perfection) is absolutely gorgeous and curved just the right way, though the color makes it the opposite of Bandito, a soft pearly white instead of a hard black. Celestial Perfection is sleek, smooth, and pleasing to the eye. I wasn’t sure how much I was going to like it when initially, but once I got it I was enthralled by it’s beauty, so much so that I posed with it in an HNT pic!

Everything about Celestial Perfection is, well, perfect. It looks almost like the silhouette of a goddess figure (though not as much as my lover Vicky Venus is), with curves that look like a head, arms, and ass, which I imagine is part of what lends it it’s name: celestial. It’s made by Tantus so you know it’s going to be good quality, it’s 100% silicone, and it has a slot for a bullet vibe in the bottom (and one comes with it) so you can use it as a dildo or vibrator or both.

The curve of Celestial Perfection is simply wonderful, both the g- or p-spot curve of it and also the curves in the shaft of the toy itself. It’s larger than I was expecting it to be, as well, about 7 inches long and over 5 inches around (1.7 inches in diameter), so the bulb on the end grinds into that sensitive internal spot so nicely.

It’s also harness compatible (which you probably already guessed if you looked at the HNT I wore it in), with a nice wide base, and would be perfect to fuck with, since you know it will hit all the right places. I haven’t yet used it with either of my harnesses, except for wearing it once for the HNT pic mentioned above. The base seems a little thin to me when I hold it, but that may be the comparison of it to Bandito’s super thick base.

Overall I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. I was expecting a regular dildo, nothing too fancy, but I found the curves, shape, and look of it alone was enough to turn my head and intrigue me and make Celestial Perfection into one of my new favorite dildos to use.

Remember: the affiliate proceeds from any toys you buy through my affiliate link will be donated x2 to The Butterfly Temptress Cancer Fund! Buying sex toys never felt so good.

PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality is an anthology of essays edited by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel that is essentially a smack in the face to traditional and even some non-traditional ideas of gender and sexuality. It refutes any idea of any sort of binary along either of those lines.

Through reading the essays the reader gets multiple examples of people who don’t fit into the neat little boxes that both queer and het society tries to push them into. Because there are so many, one right after the other, each building on the next and each becoming more strange, more queer, more PoMo than the last, there is no way to deny that these people are not just flukes.

For me, I found some soulmates in this book. I found people struggling with the same ideas I do and asking the same questions I’ve been asking for years: where do I fit in if I’m sort of this and sort of that and everything and nothing? How do I navigate these gender and sexuality galaxies if I can’t pin myself down and comprehend where everything in me is coming from?

The essays in some cases are roads of self-discovery, showing just a glimpse of what one goes through when one box is not an option, and what is possible when you embrace not fitting in. Other essays were dissecting specific ideas or impulses that the authors had which were somehow out of their comfort zone, such as a gay man wanting to fuck a woman, how males and females can interact outside of a heterosexual paradigm, how a female can be a woman stuck in a man’s body, and various other pomo genders and sexualities.

If you’ve ever not fit into the boxes the world gives us, which is just about everyone in my experience, I would say you need to read this book. Even if you don’t identify directly with those in the stories it will blow your mind and make you reorganize your thinking about the way that gender and sexuality work. It will help you recognize that you are not alone, there are others like you who can’t fit into the boxes.

Even if you know that already, because I certainly did know that there were others who feel like I do going into it, you will still get a sense of camaraderie of validation that while you are unique in your own gender and sexuality expression there may be others who are just as or more fucked up than you are. And I mean fucked up in a good way, of course. ;)

By now I’m sure you won’t be surprised when I mention just how much I love LELO, because everything I’ve reviewed of theirs thus far I have raved about, and the Luna Beads are just as well crafted and gorgeous as any of the other toys I have reviewed, yet completely different. Lelo makes amazingly high quality toys for men and women (they recently added a cock ring and butt plug to not leave men out from the Lelo fun!), and while each one is different, the Luna Beads are perhaps the most unlike their other toys.

The reason why they’re so different is because they are not meant for use during sex and aren’t meant to get you off, unlike the rest of the Lelo line. The Luna Beads are Kegel exercisers, meant to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor and, essentially, make one’s vaginal opening tighter (vaginal opening is such a sexy word, I know, but that’s what it is!). Similar products are Ben Wa Balls, Smart Balls, and all sorts of Kegel wands.

The Luna Beads are an especially exceptional set of Kegel exerciser balls because they don’t just come with one weight of balls, but two. The pink balls weigh 28 grams and the blue balls weigh 37 grams, so you can have anywhere from 28 to 74 grams of weight at any given time, which means these will last you a longer time than most Kegel exerciser balls because you can vary the weight to your progress. In addition to the beads you also get a silicone “girdle” (another sexy word, right?) which you can put the beads into so they are attached to each other and easy to get out and keep in.

According to the manual (because all LELO toys come with a manual) in addition to increasing the tightness of the vagina doing daily Kegels also helps to restrain and prevent stress incontinence; provides a sense of “being in command” of the nether regions, boosting sexual confidence and sensual well being; and enhances erotic sensation and directly taps the source of ultra-intense orgasms. Now who wouldn’t want that? Even if you think you’re plenty tight there are other reasons to do some Kegels.

The manual also says that the best way to use the Luna Beads is daily and while you walk, run, swim, or move about especially. The motion of movment creates the inner balls to move which creates a subtle vibe that stimulates the muscles. Since it’s best to use them daily while moving I incorporated them into my regular gym-going routine, so I would put them in prior to going to the gym and take them out afterwards, getting a good amount of kegel workout while working out the rest of my body.

I found that in just a short amount of time I was able to notice the difference, able to keep both beads in longer instead of having one slip out almost automatically. Onyx mentioned he could tell a difference as well, that I felt tighter around him. I also find that if I’m having a particularly unsexy-feeling day or my libido is down and I wear my Luna Beads for a while my sexual desire returns quickly, which is also a plus.

Like all LELO toys, the Luna Beads also come with a one-year warranty, satin storage case, and black storage box. They are made of body-safe and non-porous PC-ABS with a silicone “girdle” (no silicone lube!). My greatest rating of a toy has to do with how often I use it, and I use the Luna Beads just about every day, and since I’m still on the pink beads I’m sure I have quite a while until I graduate to using two blue beads, and so I will be using them for quite a while longer.

If you are interested in kegel exercisors, or simply libido enhancers I’d highly recommend getting your own set of Luna Beads to use every day or just once in a while.

How do I start a review of a book which speaks to me in such personal and intimate ways, beyond being about sex? How do I begin to describe the ways this book has clicked with me? I guess by answering those questions.

The brilliance of the book is that it delves into theory while still having an element of smut in it, mixing the two together in a true Carol Queen-esque way, because in some ways it’s impossible to seperate the smut from the theory and the theory from the smut. The first book I read of Carol Queen’s was Real Live Nude Girl back nearly four years ago when I was still living in Oregon.

I fell in love with her then, realizing how similar we were, wanting to become like her, to explore my own sexuality and look at it through the lens of theory. She was my inspiration for nearly all that I do now, and all I’m working toward including San Francisco and The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

I found Leather Daddy and the Femme by Carol Queen to be not only wonderful hot get-your-genitals-stirring smut but also an interesting look at gender identities and identity politics. It starts off with the meeting of Miranda/Randy and Jack, then follows their relationship as it progresses, adding in a third partner, Demetrius, and playing with others as well. It is a wonderful queer genderfucking depiction of a gay leather daddy and his boy/femme and the creation of a family.

I found that the identities and relationships within The Leather Daddy and the Femme were some of the closest depictions to what I consider perfect. This wouldn’t be true for everyone, of course, not everyone would have such a personal reaction to the book, dreaming of being in an open and poly-committed relationship or having two different but equal genders that are easy to step into. I found myself identifying in some way with all of the characters and realizing that my dream situation is one very similar to what Jack, Miranda, and Demetrius have, with slight modifications of course.

In some ways the situation in the book is similar to my own, it emphasizes that queerness isn’t restricted to same sex relationships, that there are more ways for males and females to interact sexually and romantically than within a heterosexual model. Something I’ve thought was true for years, but that is difficult for me to describe.

The biggest thing that Leather Daddy and the Femme did for me, I think, was make me think about my own identity, my own desire for a chosen family (as opposed to born family), my desire for multiple lovers, for queer sex, for my own embracing of my multigendered self. It opened me up to looking at my own gender and sexual identity paths, how I got here and where I want to go from here. Oh, and it also made me wet.

I could probably go on for pages about exactly how it touched me, about what part of which characters I would like to inhabit, what I have thought of due to the book, how it has changed my perceptions and desires… but those things are all for posts previous and to come. Instead, I’d love if you have read it for you to give your reaction to the book in the comments.